In my ideal world, everybody wins.

I can admit, however, that I didn’t always feel this way. Like many artists out there, I felt an extreme sense of lack. That feeling that if another artist has what I desire, then I can’t have it, I felt this more often than not.

The methods that were instilled within me made me feel as though someone could easily take away what I felt was mine. The music industry created this raging hunger and drive to produce, which in turn created this belief that your dream could be ripped out of your hands if you don’t work hard enough. This competition mentality caused me to lose my grip. The kill or be killed mindset created an anxiousness that just wouldn’t seem to go away and kept me struggling in a loop of confusion. Worst of all, it caused me to feel separated from myself, my art and other artists. If I wasn’t sizing someone up from a competition stand point, then I was seeing what they did as so different from me that it wouldn’t affect the outcome I myself wanted to produce. Usually they would be members of the opposite sex.

In the beginning of my career I had little to no connections with other women or women identifying artists. Often, I was either the only or one of few women performing. Not only did the scarcity in numbers of women in the industry keep me from connecting, but for quite a few years I was either seeing them as a threat or they were viewing me in the same way- yet, at the same time I found myself yearning for closeness with them. I wanted to be with those who understood what it was really like to be a woman in the music industry, but it seemed as though we were keeping our guards up towards one another.

The fear and insecurity that I was constantly grappling with made me feel like an outsider. Believing I was suffering alone in such feelings was a lie I would consistently tell myself in order to “buck up” and “get the job done”, but because it was rarely being shared within some type of collective safe space, my ego mask had to be worn in order to not lose my place as “confident”. To an outsider it would have appeared as though I was getting somewhere, but the truth was, as an artist, I was floundering.

I found myself playing shows where I would have to do a bunch of work promoting and selling a certain number of tickets while barely getting paid, and any chance I got I was trying to be seen by whoever was in charge “in the industry”. I watched those who ran the events rake in a ton of money from the over priced ticket sales, and beyond that I would sometimes find myself in some uncomfortable situations. The high that being on stage would give me was always followed by the feeling of complete defeat. It seemed for a while I was locked in a cycle of this give and take with the music industry, until I gave to the point of complete depletion.

To regain my sense of self and inspiration I started to feel it was almost a dire need to put myself out there and be with other artists I could connect to. The more I opened up, the more I was able to see how not alone I was. I was also able to see how keeping each other at arms length wasn't doing anyone any favours. The distance created this lack of foundation in regards to building what I now deem most important - COMMUNITY.

Art is created from connection, and success is created from community. As an artist, I connect to my heart to create, and when my creation is complete I share it to connect with others. This is the definition of community to me.

Within this understanding I was able to see just how important it is for me to create authentic connections with other artists. I noticed how important it is to band together, as we become stronger and more successful as a community, especially when it comes to our rights. If we want to abolish the exploitation we experience in the music industry, then it is important we build a strong foundation amongst ourselves and each other, to keep us physically, personally and financially safe. To raise one another up in love and support means we inevitably raise ourselves up in the process. There is more than enough success to go around, and the more we celebrate and share that, the more we will see it within ourselves and the community. Yes, it feels really good when I experience some wins, but I feel just as good when I see someone I have love and respect for winning too.

- Kendal

The Importance of Community