My Journey To “Free”, an Open Letter by Elyse Saunders
You could say that my drive and passion for music is an obsession that can fill me up with light and joy, while also consistently testing me and teaching me long-term lessons about myself and the world around me. Music has moulded me into the person I am today.
I started my journey in music simply because it was a part of me and an inner calling that felt natural. I didn’t know what would come from it or how to start, but I knew it was something I was drawn to and I just did it. It’s who I am!
My earliest memory of being amazed by the craft of music was watching my mom sing and write songs on her guitar in the kitchen. She was a beautiful star in my eyes. Although it was never something she did outside of the kitchen, she inspired me. I would secretly go through her guitar case when she wasn’t looking and pull out all of her lyric sheets and read the handwritten songs that came from her heart. As a 6 year old, I felt like I could understand, and decided to write my own first song based off of my love for the beauty of the outdoors like butterflies and bees. I've been writing ever since. I love being a songwriter.
My parents were in a broken relationship that ended in a divorce at a young age. We moved around a lot and I went through a long stage in my childhood where I felt lost, broken, and ungrounded. During this time music acted as my emotional outlet, helping me to write down my thoughts and release what I was going through. I would belt out the words to a song that I felt most connected to and it would always feel like a great release for me. (Performing still does this for me). At that point in my life I knew music could heal and became something personal and private just for me. Although I would consider myself introverted when it came to sharing my love for music at that time, I knew that at some point in my near future that I wanted to be an entertainer expressing myself on stage. The stage is now what I like to call home.
My mom dared me to sing at a high school singing competition in front of all of my peers and I just remember being scared but excited at the same time. Once I hit that stage, my big voice came out and it happened – I did it! From that point on, I began singing in competitions across Ontario since they were the only stage that we knew of for a beginner to start. It starts with one action.
My first mentor (Cyril Rawson) took me to Nashville and we recorded my very first album. You could say I was pretty lucky to be able to align with a real pro so early on and he showed me the ropes of what the real world of country music was about. Cyril was all about capturing the most authentic vocal and it wouldn't just be about a great vocal performance but a vocal in the form of storytelling. This is when I found my own authentic voice and what lead me from being a contest singer to my path of becoming a professional in the music industry. Shortly after my first recording in Nashville, I had an opportunity to open a show in front of 10,000 people in my hometown... for me, this was my personal test. I went out there, played to the biggest crowd I'd ever seen and proved to myself that I could do it... I was hooked! I can do this.
Having been catapulted onto the big stage and the opportunity to work with all of the pros so early on, I made the decision to spend some time really growing into who I was and wanted to develop my craft as a singer, songwriter, entertainer and business woman. While I was developing my career, the industry was also shifting quickly and like everyone else in the industry – I have learned to adapt and grow with it. My journey has brought amazing life changing moments as well as incredible memories that I'm unbelievably thankful for, but with that said, I've also experienced uphill battles and rollercoaster whiplashes along the way. I've heard my fair share of “no’s”, I’ve felt humiliated, I’ve cried, I’ve made the conscious choice to choose my career over other life moments and I’ve worked with sharks that were disguised by a smile. I’ve been told that I'm "too pretty to write a song about learning to love myself" and I've heard this one, if I were "born a man I would have a better chance at my career." All the while, I kept remembering the popular phrase "to be in this business you've gotta grow thick skin" and I can tell you that this statement is true. But on the other side of it all, I can also truly say that I LOVE what I do and what makes it all worth it for me is seeing the affect that music can have on others... there's nothing else like it!! If I can be a part of helping someone through music, that outweighs any of those skin thickening moments for me. Some of my favorite examples are when someone private messages me and tells me that my song has become their personal anthem, or that the messages I share as an artist have helped their life in some way. Other examples would be when they come up after a show and tell me how much it brightened their day or that my journey has inspired them to follow their own dreams. These are the moments that remind me of why I do what I do. The celebrations, the adventures, the wins, the exhilarating shows, that audience connection, creating songs with others, collaborating in the studio with amazing people...I’ve seen magic through music! I’ve experienced the highs and lows of this industry but I’m addicted to the healing, the creativity, the expression, the light and the connection it brings to myself and those around me. I’m addicted.
Like many others, I’ve been through personal traumas that still pop up in my life today but it’s my career in music that’s forced me to face my demons head-on by being in a constant stage of change and pushing myself outside of my comfort zones in order to do what I need to do. I’ve pulled out pieces of who I’m supposed to be, little bit by bit, and I’ve become stronger by going through the many experiences in my career. I am learning to let go of expectations, to let go of my tendency to want to try and control outcomes, to work for tomorrow but to live for today. And the biggest one I’m always learning… to enjoy the journey. Without music, I don’t think I would be confronted with the life lessons that I need to work through so often, and not only am I am grateful for my creative gift, but also for these vast experiences. I believe music has made me more compassionate, more understanding and introspective. I wouldn’t be who I am today without it. I am grateful.
My song “Free” comes from a spot in my heart that's seen the ups and the downs. Although it's an upbeat summer song, it means so much more than that for me. It’s a reminder that there’s a place that we can be more mentally free and whatever you've been through, wherever you've been, we all have our own version of what being "free" is. For me, "Free" is a reminder that life is worth celebrating and to be in the moment to enjoy the good. What is “the moment” exactly? It is a place where every one of us can feel more centered and grateful for the people and beauty around us. With all that said, my reason for sharing this song as a singer/songwriter is because I want to create and release songs that bring positivity to people’s lives while always bringing a message or lesson that I hope will help lead them on their path. I’ve been to those places of feeling low and I want to try and help others by bringing positivity to them through my music and that's what this song is. We’re in this together!
My closing thought: I am learning to be more “Free” in my thoughts by releasing old roadblocks, embracing my journey and by singing my authentic truth. I hope that I can continue to bring that out through my music in the years ahead. "Time passes by, keep the high alive."
- Elyse