"POISONALITY", track-by-track by Chloe Tang
Photo credit: @rvski
POISONALITY is all about growing into my personality. The poison part refers to “poisoning” or killing the parts of me that I had adopted from my surroundings but weren’t ever really part of me. I wrote all these songs at different points of my journey living in LA. A lot of the songs were very true experiences I had or phases I went through. It was my first time in a city like this where it felt like there were no rules..I was trying drugs I’d never done before, exploring my sexuality, making new friends, and most importantly discovering what my own values and boundaries were. I was raised in a place where that wasn’t welcome as much so when I finally got comfortable exploring life I had a field day, (laughs). This is the first EP I’ve released independently since 2018. It’s been such a labor of love going through this whole process without a label or any financial support. There were so many challenges I had to push through, especially because I’m protective of my music. I get stuck in this mindset that everything has to be perfect when that’s just not possible. It’s been such a learning experience but absolutely worth it in the end.
2.0
2.0 is my favorite song on the album. It is the first song I’ve put out that I feel is 100% representative of me as a person AND me as an artist. I have always been obsessed with change and evolution, even when I was a kid. My parents never let me paint my room a different color because they said “I’d just want a different one a week later”…and they were right. On the surface, 2.0 has a pretty obvious message but to me it represents continuous change. Finding comfort in the fact that the only constant in life is change. There aren’t and shouldn’t be any boundaries when it comes to reinventing yourself. When my friend Luis showed me the beat for the song I knew I wanted it to be a song for my artist project. The electric guitars and the groove pulled me in and I could feel the bad bitch lyrics screaming to be written. My friend Tima and I sat down one day and wrote the whole song in a few hours. We knew exactly what we wanted to say, it just took a little time to organize the thoughts so the message was clear and concise. The song turned out better than I could’ve ever imagined. I see it as a blueprint for all the music I’ll be writing for my next project and that’s really beautiful. I always used other artists’ songs as “references” when I started a writing session but now I can use my own and it feels really great.
OPTIONS
OPTIONS is by far the oldest song on the EP. I’ve been sitting on this one for probably close to 3 years because I was saving it for a special project. I always had such a special connection to this song because the production is so nostalgic to the pop music I grew up listening to and it’s so bold lyrically. I really just put it all out there with no shame. I remember going into the session and just feeling so cooped up by my own life that all I wanted to do was sleep around and do some crazy shit for the plot. I don’t think this song is representative of who I am all the time but it does shed light on a phase in my life that I think everyone goes through. It’s not a common topic in society but it is normal to have desires, especially as you’re exploring the world in your twenties. It’s ok to not have all the answers! Sexuality is complicated and an ongoing process to figure out. I will always appreciate the sentiment of this song and hope that people listening will find some inspiration to embrace their natural curiosities. It’s ok to have options ;)
PRIMAL
Similar to OPTIONS, PRIMAL is a sensual song from start to finish. I was going through a phase where I was listening to “Nasty” by Russ on repeat and was trying so hard to figure out what made that song so catchy to me. I was on my way to the session just humming what became the chorus to PRIMAL because the beat vaguely resembled “Nasty” and I remember thinking ‘damn this is good’. The second verse is my favorite part of the song because I was able to say something I feel like every woman has thought before but it’s not talked about a lot. I basically shouted out the guys who have a very calm demeanor to give them their flowers. “It’s always the quiet ones, the keepin it private ones, the I could give a fuck about your man I could fight him ones. Lowkey boy walkin round with a giant one and if we made a movie I know it’d be a viral one”. The media has notoriously depicted sexy men as being tall with washboard abs, a strong presence, lots of money, and outspoken. To be honest, I’ve never found those combined attributes attractive in a man. I prefer a someone who doesn’t feel the need to show off anything. Someone who has ambitions but works in silence, someone who has no interest in people’s perception of him because he is comfortable with his perception of himself. I love PRIMAL because it’s not only sexy but it will hopefully make some men feel seen.
I SEE U
Ah yes, my feminine rage anthem. This was one of the easiest songs to write because I had all the material stored for a very long time. The experiences were countless-I have so many stories of interactions with men who were very bad at lying yet continued to do it. The first verse is about the pattern that we all know to be true-when a guy cosplays as a ‘nice guy’ then overtime starts to get too comfortable and shows his true self. Their end goal being to get you naked. The prechorus is just your classic tactic- using flashy words and possessions to get a girl’s attention. Then in the chorus it’s my time to shine. I didn’t feel the need to overcomplicate it because in the end all I want them to know is that I see what they’re doing very clearly. And that should make them embarrassed.
LSD
LSD is the most intimate song I have on the EP. It’s my depiction of a real experience I had doing acid with my now partner. We had just met each other a matter of weeks before we decided to rent an Airbnb in the middle of Joshua Tree, just the two of us. We did LSD and I had a very emotional trip, experiencing a very wide range of feelings and realizations. What makes this song so special to me is that I made it clear to my collaborators I wasn’t interested in following any type of structure while writing it. I wanted the lyrics to feel like a stream of consciousness. More of a journal, less of a pop song. This experience really allowed me to travel to the deepest parts of me. At one point I was laying on the ground listening to “When We Were Young” by the Killers crying so effortlessly because I felt like I was letting go of so much stress I didn’t even know I had. My cowriter, Sammy Hakim really took the song to a new level with her ability to write such visual lyrics and it ended up being such a special song to me I knew it had to go on the EP.
OUTRO
I know this project will always have a special place in my heart because the process was so heavily integrated into my daily life. I went to bed thinking about song edits and woke up thinking about visuals. Dedicated most of my drives to work to finding mix references. I really was sleeping and breathing POISONALITY. The best part of it all is I went into this project really hoping it would open some doors for me-like get me a record deal or a publishing deal but over time I stopped caring about that. I learned how to appreciate the creative freedom I have right now and how to fall in love with the process of creating something I’m proud of without a label. Whatever happens, I am proud of this EP and can’t wait for people to hear it.