Week 7 of quarantine: thoughts & feelings

Week 7 of quarantine. 

I've been through every emotion. Worry and stress were/are above it all. It's been harder to breathe, harder to focus. 

Thankfully, I've had a lot of happy times and a lot of cool opportunities. If I had to sum up my quarantine so far, I'd say it's going pretty well (despite all these crazy emotions). I'd even say this year is going well for me if I ignore what's going on in the world right now. But I can’t ignore it.

It's been much harder for some people. Some friends lost close friends from the virus, others lost their pets, some were infected by the virus, some had to go through difficult choices and situations, some had important health issues, some had to go through several surgeries. I heard one of my best friends having a panic attack and crying over the phone, another one went through severe depression. These past couple weeks have been fucking hard. I did my best to be there for them. I sometimes felt helpless. But I learned that listening can make a big difference. And sometimes, listening can be enough. 

There is some positive. I've got closer to some people. I never experienced that amount of love and support and thoughtfulness before. It feels good to know I can count on these people and vice versa. I have these 3 friends I talk to every day. We weren't really close before this lockdown, but they've been my biggest support and they've become dear friends. Every morning, we say hello to everyone and we make sure everyone is okay; and if not, we do our best to be there for one another. 

Another big thing is that this quarantine brought me closer to my parents, which is probably the best thing that happened to me, to us. My relationship with my parents was not easy in the past, but today, we are learning to communicate with each other and it’s something I was looking for since my childhood.

Reaching out to people have been a great help. Re-learning how to communicate with people has been very important. Knowing that we're all in this together is such a beautiful thing. 

I've been thinking a lot about what happened these past few weeks. The good and the bad. It's hard. Every day is an emotional rollercoaster. I am spending a lot of time helping people and sending out postcards just to remind people they're loved and not alone. In fact, one of my friends just received a card and hearing her joy in her voice made me cry happy tears. 

Today I feel stressed and anxious. Our government wants to start letting people out on May 11th. It's scary. 

But we will get through this. I am scared, but I am staying hopeful. 

And now I feel better because I had to let it all out.

Goodnight. Sending love to everyone, 

- V