Katrina Cain
Los Angeles-based artist Katrina Cain releases her new single “Promise Land”.
Produced by Andrew McMillan, “Promise Land” tells the story of her journey to Los Angeles.
“It has been one of the most difficult experiences financially, emotionally, and relationship-wise, so in a way, I was still really troubled when I first made it out here. But, I also really felt like I was on the right path, so that somehow made me feel freer and satisfied,” says Cain.
Fusing elements of pop, folk and electronic, the atmospheric single is off her upcoming EP Promise Land, which will explore the subjects of growing, learning, evolving and moving to a new city.
“Promise Land” is now available worldwide.
Photo credit: Brooke Taelor
Introduce yourself - what's your story?
My name is Katrina Cain and I'm a musician and songwriter living in Los Angeles. I'm older than most of my peers out here, and I'm married. I usually keep my age a secret due to the industry pretty much shunning any woman over the age of 23 (especially married women), but it's definitely a part of my story so I'm learning to own it. The industry wants every woman to be young, traditionally hot, and single. They want the songs to be about being carefree, staying out too late. I believe that women's words are valuable, even if they don't really fit that description. Why can't we accept songs about a life well-lived?
I grew up in a small town in Connecticut, moved to Texas to complete a degree in music, and stayed there for 11 years playing music and singing commercial jingles full-time. I had a steady and secure career doing that and so did my husband, but I was really unhappy there. I uprooted us both to start over in LA. It's been a really difficult year of loss, confusion, and loneliness but starting over is one of the hardest things with the most fulfilling outcomes so I don't regret it. So much music has come out of the pain, and my relationship with my partner is stronger than ever. We're here creating and learning together, and I can't think of a better way to spend my life.
Could you tell us about your childhood a little bit?
I don't usually talk about my childhood, and I refused to go on The Voice if they asked me about it (they eventually agreed not to). My parents and siblings are private people and don't want their names and stories out in the world, but I also don't want to keep hiding my own life as if I'm ashamed because I'm not. So, I'd like to tell you a tiny bit about it but still respect their privacy.
I grew up as a New England girl in a really small town. I was pretty sheltered from the rest of the world, due to my parents being really overprotective of me, which I understand more in hindsight. I also grew up prior to modern social media and iPhones existing, so my access to what other teens were doing around the world was non-existent. We didn't have cable or WiFi (to be fair, Wifi didn't exist until I was in high school), so I was always the weird kid who wasn't cool and hadn't seen any Nickelodeon shows. I definitely didn't own any trendy clothes. Setting me even further apart from kids my age was the fact that there were severe disabilities and medical issues in my family, so everything was incredibly stressful and money was really tight all of the time. Being the youngest of four in a situation like that meant that I didn't understand a lot of what was going on, but I also had a huge burden to carry and had to deal with really serious issues at a much younger age than anyone else I knew. I was scared a lot, and only realized later in life how depressed and anxious I was- therapy was not a thing in my family.
My only outlet was music, which my parents have always been so excited about and supportive of, but again- no real access to cool stuff like rock shows. So my musical background is mostly classical, musical theatre, and figuring out Tori Amos songs on the piano by ear. I feel like this definitely influenced my late arrival in serious pursuit of the pop music industry. I have been singing, playing instruments, taking lessons and writing music for as long as I can remember, but it's like no one ever told me there was a whole industry beyond playing in your high school's orchestra and singing in a local choir. The pop songs I loved to hear on the radio seemed like a total mystery.
If you could say something to your younger self, what would you say?
I wish I could tell my younger self to not care about trying to fit a musician's life into a typical life mold. I only got a degree because I was told that people weren't worth much without one. I wish I could encourage my younger self to learn as much as she possibly could, but on her own terms. Pursue what she truly wanted earlier in life, instead of appeasing societal expectations and typical milestones.
How would you describe yourself today?
I feel open and ready, I feel free. I feel wiser and yet somehow so new. I don't feel like an adult but I feel a permanence about my life that I certainly didn't have when I was younger. I'm starting to not be so angry at the world. I'm more confident in the music I'm creating than I ever have been before.
You started in a band, what did this experience teach you as an artist?
To be honest, I started my band TOMKAT as a way to write and share my original music without exposing too much of myself. I think I wanted a way to sing without having to open up too much- so I used a band name instead of my name, I hid behind the concept of a group of people instead of owning my decisions and creativity, I looked for my bandmates input on literally everything instead of going after what I wanted.
Being an independent musician is a TON of work, and being in a band multiplied that work times 5. I thought it would be less work to share the burden, but I ended up taking on pretty much all of the roles by myself while also fielding opinions from everyone else and trying to take care of everyone. The stress was enormous and I really didn't handle it very well a lot of the time. I learned so much about self-management, scheduling, booking travel, working with others, and most importantly how to stand up for myself. I've made some not so kind or gracious remarks, and had to learn how to apologize. I had to learn how to discuss things calmly while still being assertive. Mostly, I learned that what I really needed was to stop hiding, and to be okay with building myself up as an artist. I love that band so much, and I'm excited to write more music with them, but I'm also really glad to be pursuing my solo career. TOMKAT has taught me so much and gave me the confidence to focus on myself.
How did your voice evolve over the years?
It has been such a journey to get to who I am today. I've spent so much time trying to sound like someone else, and nothing ever felt quite right. I grew up singing classical and musical theater, I ended up getting a degree in jazz and trying so hard to sound like a jazz singer, I started a band that was supposed to be some kind of electro-soul funk but ended up sounding borderline pop-rock at times. And most people think that I'm a country singer, for reasons I still do not understand. Throughout all of this, no matter who I tried to be, my songwriting voice has always been very folk driven, and the arrangements and production that make me feel the most authentic are any instruments that sound as beautiful and dreamy as possible. I think I've finally accepted and settled into my sound, which is basically folk song forms paired with synths and electronic drum beats. I think sometimes it sounds like traditional pop and other times it just sounds weird, but I hope that no matter what, it always sounds authentic.
How did things change for you since your first solo release?
I released my first solo EP, 'Rescue Me' in June of 2018, just a few days before flying to LA to film for The Voice. I knew I had been awarded a televised audition, but I hadn't signed any real contracts yet (and didn't know if I would actually get onto the show) so I rushed to put out music I had floating around because I knew that once I got there, I wouldn't legally be able to. I didn't do any promotion and had no real expectations for the music, I just wanted it to be out in the world and to exist somewhere other than my mind and my harddrive. Now that it's out, I feel solidified as a solo artist (and I guess the publicity from being on the show helped a lot, too!). It has been amazing to hear from people connecting with my music in a way that I never expected. People message me very personal stories about my songs sometimes, and when I want to play a show I actually have music to share and promote. It's kind of mind-blowing sometimes, and even if my streaming numbers aren't very big, I'm so honored by every single person who listens.
"Promised Land" is your new single. What's the story behind this song?
I wrote 'Promised Land' about 4 months after moving to LA. Moving out here was such a strange experience because while driving out, we got stranded in an ice storm and had to sleep in our moving truck overnight at a very scary gas station (it was the only public place to stop for 40 miles). But when we got to California, the state was still recovering from the wildfires. It was a surreal experience to be caught between such extremes, and it felt like some kind of odd metaphor for the limbo my life was in. I was ending a stable career where I was unhappy only to start over with absolutely nothing and finding I was so much happier. It has been one of the most difficult experiences financially, emotionally, and relationship-wise, so in a way, I was still really troubled when I first made it out here. But, I also really felt like I was on the right path, so that somehow made me feel freer and satisfied. This song came out as a way to deal with all of that- I didn't really know where I was, who I was, or what I was feeling but I knew I was where I was meant to be, and I knew I couldn't go back to how things were.
Who helped you create this particular song?
My husband, Andrew McMillan, produced this track. I wrote the song and recorded a demo of synth and vocals from start to finish, and sent it to him with some notes and ideas. He then produced it into the track you hear today and made it everything I wanted and more. He plays every instrument you hear on it, guitar, bass, drum track, synths, all production elements. He created sounds I'd never heard before, and added so much to this song that is beyond what I had imagined, he is so talented.
What do you like the most about this song?
The thing I liked best about this song is that some of my vocals are still my original demo vocals, which I had recorded while crying. I had recorded the demo just for him to hear what the melody was and was planning to replace them later. I can't remember even what I was upset about now- probably frustrated with myself for not liking the way my voice sounded. Later on, I replaced a couple of spots and sang stronger choruses, but a lot of the vocals Andrew wanted to leave as-is. I think it was a great decision- when I sang the demo I wasn't thinking about technique or any of the things I learned in college- I was just sad and telling an honest story. This song feels the most like "me" of any song I've ever written.
What can you tell us about the artwork?
I had a really specific idea of what I wanted the artwork to be, and I am so lucky that my photographer and friend Brooke Taelor was living in LA at the time and interested in helping make it happen. 'Promised Land' will also be the name of the full EP that the single is a part of, so this single cover was most important because it needed to be a symbol of the EP as a whole project as well.
I knew that I wanted to be surrounded in as tropical of an atmosphere as possible- the idea of plants and specifically beautiful California-native plants was crucial because the song (and all of the tracks on the eventual EP) is about LA and my experiences so far here. LA has always been held on a pedestal as a sort of utopia or Eden, a promised land. People have these grand dreams that they'll come here and instantly be successful and famous and rich, the streets are paved with gold and everyone is beautiful. I don't know why people have these notions, the city is cold and lonely and too expensive, and you have to work really hard.
Emotionally, I was at a point where I felt totally brand new- like someone who had lived a lot but was totally vulnerable because everything had been stripped away. For that reason, juxtaposed against these beautiful flowers and plants, I'm wearing no makeup and no clothing, just a very vibrant crown of flowers, which is sort of supposed to be a symbol of achievement. This cover is supposed to represent vulnerability and victory at the same time.
What made you want to release "Promised Land" as a single?
I knew right away that I wanted 'Promised Land' to be the first single released off of this EP. There are so many good songs I've written and collaborated on, but this one feels the most honest and vulnerable. I just want to tell everyone my story and how I'm feeling, and this feels like the best way to do it.
What were the biggest challenges when you first moved to LA?
The biggest challenge in moving to LA has been getting to know people, and the first challenge Andrew and I faced when moving here was just not having enough money to live here- in a way, they felt connected at times. We ended up moving suddenly and had no savings, and I had no job, so it's a miracle we even made it here and were able to stay. It was like we were working so hard to survive that we had no time to go out and explore and meet people. Even when we did manage to go out, it was so expensive that we really couldn't even afford to be there. It was hard to make new friends because we just didn't even know where or how to meet people. It felt like everyone's social circles were complete, and everyone could afford to go to the coolest hangs. Andrew and I felt so helpless, we were lonely and we were broke and the stress of everything made it really hard to connect with others.
It's also just difficult to meet people when you're older and married. I don't feel that I can go to a show and casually start talking to someone new, because I don't want them to think I'm hitting on them. When you're married (or in a committed long term relationship), it's so tempting to stay in and hang out with your live-in best friend. You really have to make an effort to go out and find ways to cultivate new relationships and connections in a healthy way.
What appeals you the most about living in LA?
The very first time I visited LA, I hated it. I eventually realized it was where I needed to be, and now I love living here. I think the thing that really appealed to me was being in close proximity to the actual industry I'm in, and more specifically, being around others with knowledge of the industry and the drive to work hard and succeed. The area I was living in before had a small original music scene, but most of the people I knew didn't even belong to a PRO. If you asked them about royalties or even just how to copyright their song, they didn't know and didn't care to know. I don't want to be a musician who just writes a song and "puts it out there"- I want to be a musician who is informed and educated about the industry. I care about the art of songwriting but I also care about not hiding my art in my bedroom. I'm not content to just write a song and forget about it. I love being here in LA because I'm finally finding others who feel the same way, and there's so much I can learn from them. It's inspiring to be around motivated people.
What can you tell us about your upcoming EP?
The upcoming EP will also be called Promised Land, and every song is about my experience moving to LA. The songs are about being a new kid in a new city, being broke and lonely, having people in the industry assume things about you and tell you who you are without knowing you, having a fight with someone you love and finding a way to come back together, and not knowing who you are or what to believe in. Every song is about the painful experience of growing and changing. But if it felt comfortable, it wouldn't be true growth.
As an artist, what do you want to accomplish?
I want to contribute music to the world that has weight and worth. I want to share music with as many people as possible. I want to see the world. I want to make a lasting impact, not just as memorable songs, but songs that have meaning and messages.
2019 is coming to an end. What lessons did you learn?
I learned that I can handle more than I thought. I learned that even though every passing year feels like the hardest year of my life, that might just mean I'm accomplishing more than I ever have before. I learned to say yes to things even if I'm scared, and I learned to say no to things without feeling guilt. I learned how to meet new people, I learned how to let the past go. I learned who I truly am. And I learned that marriage is really, really hard but damn, I've never known such love, respect, and true collaboration like this.
What are you the most proud of?
I'm the proudest of how hard I work. I've always kicked myself for taking the "long way around" towards accomplishing every goal, every milestone. But I'm also really proud that I've done this so much on my own, with no management or label or even funding like some people have from parents or other supporters. I feel like I've built everything from the ground up, and it's taken me a long time but I really believe that eventually, that will pay off.
Even as I'm writing this, though, I have to take a second to acknowledge that although I feel like a lone wolf in the industry, there have been some really important people along the way trying to help me- photographers, videographers, good friends, and Andrew producing my music. They've all been so supportive, whether it's offering collaborations, discounted services, or just unwavering support in the form of sharing and streaming my music. I'm so lucky to have who I have in my corner.
What are your goals for 2020?
In 2020, I plan to focus the first half of the year on releases, and the second half of the year on live shows. After releasing the full EP, I'm going to strive for bigger and better performances, I want to open for some artists I admire. And I'd love to play some writers rounds since I've never done that before! 2020 should be an amazingly creative year.
In your opinion, what would make the world a better place?
The world would be a better place if everyone listened with the intent to understand. I've lived on both coasts and in the very middle of our divided country, and the views I've heard are many and varied, influenced by such different life experiences. At the end of the day, though, everyone seems to be yearning for the same thing- we just aren't taking the time to understand each other so that we can reach that goal.
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