it's okay

This week was pretty challenging. I was feeling tired, both physically and emotionally. It was very hard for me to handle my health, my mental health and work at the same time. I felt guilty for not working and for not being motivated and inspired. I also felt guilty for being tired and for feeling weak while others go through so much worse. But I did feel exhausted and felt tired of being tired. It felt like I was exhausted for two months non stop and it was just too much for me. Despite all my efforts, I still felt like I was struggling physically. BUT I feel good now. FINALLY. I guess my body is still adjusting to all these changes: the meds, yoga, food, intermittent fasting… (talking about intermittent fasting, I read it CAN do some harm to your thyroid, in some cases. So I am waiting to see if it has a positive or negative impact:)

My body has to get used to all these changes. And I have to get used to it. I’ve never been sick before so it’s still very new to me. I was also feeling very stressed despite my yoga sessions. But I guess it will get better in time. I am still very motivated and I am ready to do whatever I can to heal. This healing process is mainly about the disease but it also bout my mental health. Working on all these things is good for my mind, body and soul.

For those who don’t know, Graves’ disease / Basedow disease can affect your eyes: feeling of irritation or grittiness in the eyes, redness or inflammation of the conjunctiva, excessive tearing or dry eyes, swelling of the eyelids, sensitivity to light etc.. So my doctor recommended I see an eye specialist. So I did. My eyes appear to have a certain dryness due to the disease so he gave me eye drops to take every once in a while. But thankfully, there’s nothing more. I was a bit nervous about this appointment. But I’m okay !

I am feeling focused again, and I can work again without feeling tired. If you read last week’s blog, you know I’ve been feeling frustrated and uninspired. But the focus, motivation and inspiration are slowly coming back and it feels great. I kinda hated myself for not working enough and for not doing much. But I just couldn’t.

I guess the lesson learned here is that it is okay to feel. It is okay to take breaks and it is okay to take care of yourself. In fact, taking care of yourself is a must. So many of us take this for granted, but it should be a priority. I also learned that it is important to be kind to yourself, which is something I often fail at, but being kind to yourself during rough times is very important.

I don’t know if anyone even reads these blogs but all I know is that it is very therapeutic for me :) And if you read this, thank you for reading. Love you.